There may come a time in any organisation where a workplace conflict reaches boiling point. Two parties, which may involve more than two individuals, become entrenched in their version of who is right and who has been wronged. At this stage, a solution needs to be found before relationships are damaged beyond repair. Employers and employees are faced with two options: resolve the issue informally through mediation or escalate to a formal grievance.
Understanding the difference between the two and knowing which one is most appropriate for the situation, can save time, money and working relationships.
Why mediation should come first
Of the two, I'm an advocate for mediation as the starting point. It's informal, but its structure still allows both parties to be heard fairly, holding up a mirror that lets everyone reflect honestly on the situation. It's also fast: where a formal grievance can take weeks and strain relationships along the way, mediation can bring resolution in a matter of days.
That said, mediation relies on one fundamental condition: both parties must genuinely want a resolution. It can be suggested, but it can never be enforced. This is why timing matters so much: mediation needs to happen before a formal grievance is raised, not after. Once a grievance has landed, it's very difficult to step back from, and it can be the final nail in the coffin for any chance of reconciliation.
What mediation looks like
So, what does the process involve? It starts with a pre-mediation briefing, where each party gives a high-level overview of the issues. The mediator deliberately avoids gathering too much detail at this stage - it isn't their job to investigate or establish blame, only to look forward to how things might be resolved.
A pre-mediation agreement follows, and then mediation day itself. Both parties sit across from one another with the mediator, with a second room available for private conversations if needed. Each party gets an uninterrupted 10 minutes to explain their view and what they want out of the process. From there, the mediator's role is to challenge each party's version of reality and then try to identify a compromise.
Afterwards, the mediator writes a short summary of what has been agreed. All parties sign it and are held accountable for living up to it.
Success looks different in every case. Sometimes it means avoiding an employment tribunal; sometimes it means an employee is happy to return to work. But at its core, mediation succeeds when the relationship is reconciled without a formal process - meaning no added risk or cost to the business.
When mediation isn't enough
There will be times, though, when mediation doesn't work, or an employee chooses not to pursue it. This is where a formal grievance comes in.
The aggrieved party puts their complaint in writing, an investigation takes place, and a formal hearing decides whether the grievance is upheld, partially upheld or declined. It's a heavier process, one that can take weeks and be emotionally draining for everyone involved. But that doesn't make it the wrong route. A formal grievance becomes the appropriate path once other options have been exhausted.
So which route should you take?
If someone is unsure which path is right, the starting point should always be the same question: what can be done informally first? That might mean encouraging the individual to speak to the other person directly and helping them prepare for that conversation, or it could mean a full mediation process. These informal steps are what keep the temperature down before things escalate.
Whichever path is chosen, the same advice applies: go in listening, with eyes and ears open. Before the first meeting, write down what the issue is and what success would look like. Staying forward-looking helps everyone focus on what matters, rather than getting stuck bringing up the past.
A message to employers
Recognise mediation for what it is: a genuine business risk prevention tool. Build it formally into your grievance process, so employees and managers understand there's a clear pathway: informal conversation, then mediation, then formal grievance. And make sure you have trained mediators, or a HR team, ready to put that value into practice.